No wonder I'm exausted.

Currently, Dr. Sissy is running a little family contest that requires us all to do 30 minutes of cardio 3 times a week in order to be entered into a drawing for a "super awesome prize." The Hub and I are both having motivational issues, for lack of a better (re: more honest) term.
I hear the Wii Fit taunting me, and I know that especially around the Holidays it is important to battle the bulge.. really, I do.

But I also worry a lot about living in a healthy way in general...
Actually - in today's western world, you can spend a lot of time worrying about how you live your life, and in a very informed way, too...
I worry about being unhealthy - about not working out, drinking too much, not drinking enough of the right kind of beverage, eating fats, not eating enough "good" fats, eating sugar, eating sugar substitutes, needing more fruits and veggies, eating too much chemically treated produce, what EXACTLY has eaten off of that organic tomato before me, eating red meat, not having balenced sources of protein........ :::::Sigh:::: Don't even get me started on trying to get through a day avoiding everything they say causes cancer these days... What black hole would I have to live in to do that?
Yikes...
But it isn't just being healthy.. what about being "green"? That is the new buzz word right? So shopping means trying to make enviromentally positive choices (ok, that term is so PC, I kind of just made myself sick)...
OH -and I want to be frugal in my lifestyle now too - so I can help "future Keri" live out her goals and dreams...
And it all starts to snowball...
Example of my thought process regarding one little thing?
I should drink lots of water... it is good for me,it keeps toxins flushing out of my body, (THINK OF THE CANCER!), it is inexpensive, keeps me full and hydrated, so I should take some with me where I go... But I can't grab one of my husband's bottled waters - think if the resources used in making that crap - even if I do toss it in our recycle bin, it is such a waste (at least I am not wasting MY money on that crap, tho)... So maybe a nalgene bottle of tap water (which I spend time conivincing myself is perfectly fine, since brita filters are freaking expensive)... but wait! My #7 bottle is leeching chemicals I can't see into my portable beverage, what if I grow flippers or something? (WHAT ABOUT THE CANCER!!) What am I left with? They aren't going to let me into the gym that I have to go to (I have already spent the damn money, and if I don't get some cardio everyday I will drop dead of a heart attack.. and WHAT ABOUT THE CANCER!?) with a freaking Mason Jar of tap water... I can't go out and buy one of those fancy metal workout bottles - that is clearly NOT being responsible with my limited funds... So I stand in the kitchen, mind racing about how to be the "least bad" in this decision... and I am stressed out... and it is probably causing cancer...

I would just go back to bed - but my sheets aren't organic, renewable fiber, so it is like I am giving the planet the finger by resting my spinning head on them....

Can ANYBODY even live up to MOST of all this stuff at one time? Because I have to tell ya - I am freaking worn out, just from trying to get a drink of water...
Does that count as a cardio workout, Dr. Sissy?

Vintage Day to Day - 7/13/07

In honor of Friday the 13th, let us play "ghost of Christmas Past" and revisit Friday the 13th of July, 2007...

A little entry from a previous blog that I think proves we should all just stay in bed on these days best left to black cats and Jason Voorhees - I call it

"The Hub, and Coffeemaker both malfunction"

So I get up this morning to find a puddle of coffee all over our counter... clearly I wasn't paying enough attention while loading the coffee and setting the auto-brew last night..
I soak and I wipe and I squeegee, and get it all cleaned up, check to make sure there is ample coffee in the pot for The Hub, and head out for my run...
Upon my return, I go into the kitch for a bottle of water and find The Hub... I get out "good mor..." and he cuts me off "YOU DO REALIZE THERE WAS COFFEE ALL OVER THE COUNTER THIS MORNING, DON'T YOU!? SO SINCE I GOT UP I HAVE BEEN IN HERE CLEANING IT!"
"um, but, I cleaned it up before I left... do you think the coffee pot is leaking?"
"IT'S BRAND NEW, KERI!! YOU LEFT A HUGE PUDDLE OF COFFEE EVERYWHERE! I'M SURE YOU OVERFILLED IT.."
Well... he's sure is he? Good for him and his "sureness"... hey pal, screw you and the (high) horse you rode in on... how about that, jerky?
Of course while I was practicing personal hygiene behind my locked bathroom door, listening to K-LOVE and reminding myself that a Proverbs 31 woman would understand that The Hub is really busy and stressed with work, and blah, blah, blah.. (might need to work on that, eh?)... he starts a new pot of coffee (because evidently, if some spills, it ruins the whole pot?) and guess what? It does it to him too!! That's right buddy... who's having a blonde moment now? Turns out, because you can either use a carafe or two or one travel mug, you have to line the pot up just perfect or it might go everywhere...
I emerge from my girly bathroom all extra foxy (for spite) to face my day, and The Hub has morphed from the Hulk back into Bruce Banner and is tickling the dog and chatting me up.. pfffft... whatev....
Passive/agressive Keri is concocting a plan to never touch the coffeemaker again, so when he gets up each morning and grabs that stainless steel carafe, all he will get is a piping hot cup o' nuthin! (Yep, that Proverbs 31 thing might need just a touch of work...)
I mean honestly... I have always been partial to Tea.....

Incidentally, several things about this strike me as funny: #1. The part where I "go for my run." HA!! My "I am a runner" phase lasted about 2 months before I dialed workouts down to Fit TV and my Wii Fit. "My Run." LMAO. #2. The idea that I would EVER give up coffee. Snort. What would I drink while watching my TiVoed Handy Manny episodes every morning? Give up coffee, puh-leese.

The Elevator Poot

Poor Fabulous CoWorker's desk was crop-dusted today by one of our supervisors, (who clearly has no shame) who then ambled off, leaving Fabulous CoWorker to be blamed for the offense by all who happened into the vicinity for the next 5 or so minutes. UNTHINKABLE!
I seem to be the victim of a similar maneuver on a fairly frequent basis in elevators.
Perhaps it is because I use them so much, both at work and at home, that it is just statistically bound to happen to me more often than others, or maybe I just built up some powerful-bad Fart karma in a past life.

Either way, at least once a week I step on to an elevator, select my desired floor, and just at the moment the door has closed too much for me to bolt off the car, BAM! I smell THAT smell.
That unmistakable smell that sends me into an embarrassed panic begging God (who I am sure has PLENTY of time to worry about smelly elevators) to just NOT let anyone else get on but inevitably the doors open at the next floor and on comes another passenger - only they don't think SOMEONE pooted in that 'vader.. no no, they think I did.
The ride until my chosen floor slows down to a crawl, days seem to pass in the lingering stank of the elevator car, just myself and the other smirking rider, staring at the floor, judging me - ready to tell the story to the first friend or acquaintance seen.
The next time you even consider breaking the wind in a lonely elevator, just remember, it is NOT a victimless crime - others will suffer the shame of your poot..
What goes around comes around, and I suspect that Fart Karma can be a real bitch.