Left handed and out of my right mind.

I should preface this by explaining that I am left handed.
When I say that, I don't just mean that I write with my left hand and have more coordination when using my left hand; I mean that my entire right side is strictly for balence and decorative purposes. Other than that, it is good for nothing. NOTHING.
Got it? Good.

So I seem to have hurt my back. What started Monday morning as a dull ache/sore muscle in my left bicep has migrated and morphed into searing, constant pain in my entire left shoulder-blade as of today. Not as in "avoid lifting heavy objects" pain, I mean as in "I vocalized involuntarily because it hurt when I blew my nose this morning" kind of pain. Also as in "I can't do my hair, even in a freaking pony tail because I can't reach the back of my damn head it hurts so bad" kind of pain.
(Serious, my hair is jammed up in a half-assed knot situation and fastened with a clip that my worthless right hand finally managed to affix in there.)

All of this sucks, no doubt, but here is the real kicker: I have no idea what I did to cause this injury. Nothing new or different has happened in the past week - no heavy lifting, rock climbing, batting cage outings, or chasing The Hub around the Tree-house with a cast iron fryer waiving over my head.
Which leaves me wondering, in private, silent horror at myself, if I am crippled from a freak magazine page-turning injury? Or nursing pain caused by my unintentional training for the Olympic Sitting-There team? Or even if I pulled something out of whack during a particularly tricky TV Remote maneuver involving DVR'ed Food Network shows?
My middle name isn't exactly "Active" so how did I end up with this awful hurt and funky hairdo!?

Sigh.
Somebody get me a 'Tini... I'll be on my heating pad watching TV.